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One Liners – The “Proverbial” Sequel

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Last month, Unified360's resident "legal beagle" Matt Hutchins wrote a blog entitled One Liners for the New Year. It was so popular that we decided to post a "sequel" of sorts, sent to us by a friend. Here you go...

"I really enjoyed reading your blog 'One Liners to Start a New Year' submitted by Matt Hutchins awhile back.  Heck, I even used a few of them at a News Years Eve party!  Matt is a good friend of mine, so I wanted to come up with a sequel to his blog.

Now for the background.  A first grade teacher had 26 students in her class.  She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked the class to come up with the remainder of the proverb.  It's hard to believe these were actually done by first-graders.  Their insight may surprise you.  While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6 year olds, because the last one is a classic..." 

  • Don't change horses ... until they stop running.
  • Strike while the ... bug is close.
  • It's always darkest before ... Daylight Savings Time.
  • Never underestimate the power of ... termites.
  • You can lead a horse to water but ... How?
  • Don't bite the hand that ... looks dirty.
  • No news is ... impossible.
  • A miss is as good as a ... Mr.
  • You can't teach an old dog new ... math.
  • If you lie down with dogs, you'll ... stink in the morning.
  • Love all; trust ... me.
  • The pen is mightier than the ... pigs.
  • An idle mind is ... the best way to relax.
  • Where there's smoke there's ... pollution.
  • Happy the bride who ... gets all the presents.
  • A penny saved is ... not much.
  • Two's company; three's ... the Musketeers.
  • Don't put off till tomorrow what ... you put on to go to bed.
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry and ... you have to blow your nose.
  • There is none so blind as ... Stevie Wonder.
  • Children should be seen and not ... spanked or grounded.
  • If at first you don't succeed ... get new batteries.
  • You get out of something only what you ... see in the picture on the box.
  • When the blind lead the blind ... get out of the way.
  • A bird in hand ... is going to poop on you.
  • Better late than ... pregnant.

Doug Younie, Partner
Apogee Software
dougy@apogeesoftware.com

Comments

It's nice to know that good ol'e Texas whit is still alive and well. 
 
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 1:39 PM by Jeff Rothell
a few I like;  
 
 
 
Flowing the pather of least resistence is what makes both men and rivers crooked.  
 
 
 
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 1:52 PM by Eric S. Weige
Hey Eric, I like your additional one line contributions to the blog. How about ... "I used to think that I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 2:03 PM by Matt Hutchins
Okay I think now is my chance to share some wonderful one-liners that were shared with me over years of working with who you ask.....try to guess - here we go. 
 
 
 
1. Gate swings both ways. 
 
2. Cherry on the sundae. 
 
3. Happier than a pig in slop. 
 
4. Daddy didn't raise no quiter. 
 
5. Give it the "what for"! 
 
6. My personal favorite - Does your foot fit a limb? 
 
7. Parlait it. 
 
8. Work it like a rib. 
 
9. Backdoor the system. 
 
10.I'm beautiful. 
 
11.Call me Carolyn. 
 
12.Can't see the forest through the trees. 
 
13.Not trying to beat a dead horse. 
 
14.This one will give it away - Rob Peter to pay Paul. 
 
 
 
Where would we be without one-liners!?! Gotta love em!
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 3:54 PM by Jerri Brooks
Pretty funny stuff! I'm working on my list now.
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 4:44 PM by Mandy West
Great material for my latest gigs in Heaven! Like ... a Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 5:35 PM by Henny Youngman
" The best Opportunities usually sets right between Yesterday and Tomorrow"
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 7:23 PM by Jeff Rothell
Love them. It makes my day.
Posted @ Thursday, February 04, 2010 10:06 PM by Carina
I still have 100's in my arsenal .. "I'm on it like a hobo on a honey bun" 
Posted @ Friday, February 05, 2010 10:35 AM by Brad Jones
These are freaking hilarious! Love to see how our kids view things...too fun!
Posted @ Monday, February 08, 2010 11:25 AM by Chris Newton
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