One Liners to Start a New Year
I usually contribute to the Unified360 blog because I want to provide something useful. Being a lawyer, I have tried to impart tidbits of legal knowledge and advice that might be germane to telecommunications or everyday life. Well its time to break from the mold.
With the year end holidays upon us and 2010 rapidly approaching, it is time to share some one liners that I have picked up over the years, and that you might find useful in a variety of social situations, from parties, family gatherings and meetings with your colleagues. I am sure that you can find them somewhere around the Web, but ... here we go ...
- Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
- Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Few women admit their age; few men act it.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Always remember you are unique; just like everyone else.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
- Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
- A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
- Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check?
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
- IRS Motto: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
- I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
- Honk if you like peace and quiet.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- What's another word for "thesaurus?"
- You don't know who is swimming naked until the tide goes out.
... and a personal favorite, 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Have a wonderful Holiday Season and a very Happy New Year.
Matt Hutchins, General Counsel a/k/a Legal Beagle
Unified360
"Shoot a lawyer, and save a tree"