Last month, Unified360's resident "legal beagle" Matt Hutchins wrote a blog entitled One Liners for the New Year. It was so popular that we decided to post a "sequel" of sorts, sent to us by a friend. Here you go...
"I really enjoyed reading your blog 'One Liners to Start a New Year' submitted by Matt Hutchins awhile back. Heck, I even used a few of them at a News Years Eve party! Matt is a good friend of mine, so I wanted to come up with a sequel to his blog.
Now for the background. A first grade teacher had 26 students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked the class to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first-graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6 year olds, because the last one is a classic..."
- Don't change horses ... until they stop running.
- Strike while the ... bug is close.
- It's always darkest before ... Daylight Savings Time.
- Never underestimate the power of ... termites.
- You can lead a horse to water but ... How?
- Don't bite the hand that ... looks dirty.
- No news is ... impossible.
- A miss is as good as a ... Mr.
- You can't teach an old dog new ... math.
- If you lie down with dogs, you'll ... stink in the morning.
- Love all; trust ... me.
- The pen is mightier than the ... pigs.
- An idle mind is ... the best way to relax.
- Where there's smoke there's ... pollution.
- Happy the bride who ... gets all the presents.
- A penny saved is ... not much.
- Two's company; three's ... the Musketeers.
- Don't put off till tomorrow what ... you put on to go to bed.
- Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry and ... you have to blow your nose.
- There is none so blind as ... Stevie Wonder.
- Children should be seen and not ... spanked or grounded.
- If at first you don't succeed ... get new batteries.
- You get out of something only what you ... see in the picture on the box.
- When the blind lead the blind ... get out of the way.
- A bird in hand ... is going to poop on you.
- Better late than ... pregnant.
Doug Younie, Partner
Apogee Software
dougy@apogeesoftware.com
I usually contribute to the Unified360 blog because I want to provide something useful. Being a lawyer, I have tried to impart tidbits of legal knowledge and advice that might be germane to telecommunications or everyday life. Well its time to break from the mold.
With the year end holidays upon us and 2010 rapidly approaching, it is time to share some one liners that I have picked up over the years, and that you might find useful in a variety of social situations, from parties, family gatherings and meetings with your colleagues. I am sure that you can find them somewhere around the Web, but ... here we go ...
- Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
- Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Few women admit their age; few men act it.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Always remember you are unique; just like everyone else.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
- Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
- A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
- Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check?
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
- IRS Motto: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
- I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
- Honk if you like peace and quiet.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- What's another word for "thesaurus?"
- You don't know who is swimming naked until the tide goes out.
... and a personal favorite, 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Have a wonderful Holiday Season and a very Happy New Year.
Matt Hutchins, General Counsel a/k/a Legal Beagle
Unified360
"Shoot a lawyer, and save a tree"