As one of Stephen Covey's published "habits" of "Highly Effective People", this one tends to be the most challenging. Many of us (self included) live in a world of our own, sometimes thinking only of ourselves and how to "get ahead" in life without putting considerable thought into what value we bring to others. The challenge I face many times is patience and the genuine listening necessary to truly understand what that value looks like.
In a recent conversation with Danielle (my 12-year old daughter and the twin to her sister Simone), I attempted to challenge her to go beyond her consistent achievement of the" A,B" Honor Roll as I knew she could achieve the "A" Honor Roll if she applied herself. The key here is my challenge and her applying herself were completely different, as I took all of the responsibility off of me and placed it all on her. Although I do feel she can accomplish this, after dinner I realized that she was unhappy. I went in to visit with her only to find that she really wanted to achieve the "A" Honor Roll but needed to share her challenges with me in order for me to help her. It wasn't necessarily that I had any wonderful answers, but I sensed she felt much better after our discussion, which she later confirmed. The reason, I believe, is that I was able to listen and understand her challenges, allowing her to talk through them with someone.
In life and business, this seems to be more and more challenging. We get wrapped up in all of life's activities - work, sports, entertainment, travel, etc. - and many times overlook the most important lesson: life is about people and helping others. In this particular case, it was a humbling experience for me to realize my failure in dealing with one of the most important people in my life. Luckily for me (and my relationship with Danielle), it was an opportunity for me to learn and grow and for Danielle to learn how to communicate and be patient with me.
As we go about our days in our personal and professional lives, we tend to overlook the people important to us and the importance of listening and understanding others in general. In business, this can result in the success or failure of the business in general. Customers and prospective customers are not as close to us as Danielle is to me and thus more guarded against being taken advantage of and not heard. So my challenge to those who have read this far is listen, understand, and make a difference in someone's life or business today by understanding them and having a genuine interest in helping them. Make a difference!
Jim Barker, CSO
Unified360